If you read the title you’d probably think I’m crazy. Who in their right mind would be thankful for a chronic illness? Just hear me out before you call me crazy though, ok?
So I’ve been practicing self love, gratitude and doing a lot of self reflection this year. That means I have to get to the nitty gritty of things. It has dawned on me that as horrible and traumatizing as being diagnosed with myasthenia gravis is, I can say that I’m thankful AF for my chronic illness. And in true Morgan form, I thought it’d be no better way to express my gratitude to myasthenia gravis than to write a little letter to it.
My Dearest Myasthenia,
It’s been a while since we’ve talked. Last time I wrote to you I was in a very fragile place. I may have said some uber harsh things to you but I meant every word. It hasn’t been easy adjusting to life with you. There were some very very bleak moments and times when I thought you had gotten the best of me. But I just want to say thank you. In the midst of all your chaos and strife, you’ve given me something to be thankful AF for.
I’ve found a whole community of folks and a network of support within the spoonie realm. I’m talking others with MG, health care advocates, other chronic illness bloggers or just other spoonies in general. It’s a place where I belong. We encourage and support each other, share positive vibes and tips for wellness. I would have never found these folks or connected with them without having myasthenia gravis. So that in itself is a reason to be thankful for my chronic illness.
You’ve helped me see that if I step outside of my comfort zone and be vulnerable, a whole there’s greatness to find. When I felt my most alone, there were assumed I was alone forever, people
Catalyst for Change
I don’t think I was a horrible person prior to my chronic illness but I do believe there was a lot of room for me to grow and I’m not sure if I would have made the necessary changes needed to be the woman I aspire to be without this happening. My myasthenia diagnosis honestly was a major milestone in my life. It has set the tone for all of the positive changes I have made over the past few years from eating better, to better self care, practicing self love and gratitude. It forced me to make changes and challenged me to be better.
Purpose in Pain
Believe it or not you’ve helped my find my voice. I’m forced to speak up for myself, for my self care, for my wellness. I’m blessed to be able to share my journey with the world (via the internet). It’s through our painful relationship that I’ve begun reconnecting with myself to figure out exactly what I want. I’ve been praying for passion and purpose for years now. While I don’t know if becoming an advocate for chronic illnesses like myasthenia gravis is my purpose, I know for a fact that it’s a passion project of mine. I can now use my voice to speak on the many perils of living with chronic illness such as medication shortages and the cost of treatments.
Wait There’s More
These are just a few of the reasons I’m grateful for my chronic illness. I mean clearly it’s not an ideal situation. And please believe if I could be cured I would take that offer in a minute. But I find some comfort by finding the good that has come out of having a chronic illness instead of dwelling in the negativity (which is super easy to do). So thank you Myasthenia Gravis, I’m thankful AF for you.